One thing I’ve learnt the hard way in recent times is to not make any decisions when my frequency, mood is low. Or rather, I need to refer back and to trust the decisions I make when I feel centered – when I’m least 70% happy. Because without a doubt it’s when we make our best decisions. To do what It takes I highly recommend keeping a journal.
Have you noticed that it’s as if sometimes we have like 2-3 or different personalities. (Some of us have have a lot more than that :))
Have you ever had the experience after chatting with a friend about fitness (this is an example – it could be anything) of making the decision, an agreement with yourself, to get up early tomorrow morning and every morning for the next month and go for a run. You feel fairly happy when you make that agreement with yourself.
Then you get home and you’re still excited about your new intention – you feel reborn – I’m going to do this you say to yourself. Then you set your alarm, jump into bed, and fall to sleep and dream of a brave new you. Goodnight world – I am so excited.
Brrrrrrrinnnnng! 06:30 am the alarm goes off. You open your eyes. WTF!
Your first thought is … ‘what idiot set the alarm for 06:30? It’s the middle of the night for heaven sake.’ Then you remember your agreement. Whose grand idea was that?
And then … that little voice … in your head … ‘It’s ok … snooze for another 15 mins … 15 mins more and you’ll be ready to rock and roll.’ So you hit the snooze. 15 mins. Brrrrrrrrrnnng! The voice … ‘I actually feel a little bit more awake now. If i had another 15 mins.’ Snooze! 15 mins. Brrrrrinnnnnnnng!
‘Mmmm. It’s a bit late now. If I go to the gym now I might not make it back in time for my appointment and … actually come to think of it, I think I might be coming down with a cold and if I go to the gym …’ etc etc etc.
Let me ask your this question? If you are in charge of your life and If you were certain last night, before you went to bed, that you was going to get up and keep your agreement to go and run or go to the gym or whatever it was, and then you woke up this morning and your attention had evaporated to such a degree … who was it who actually made that agreement last night? Who was it who set the alarm?
And this isn’t just about going to the gym is it. Take relationships. Like we have all good intention how you we going to be in relation to our partner on any given day. Perhaps you haven’t been getting on to well recently. You’re at work and you have the intention that no matter what strings she or he pulls today, when you get home tonight, you are going to be sweet and nice and happy and kind to them. And all day you’re excited. You feel empowered. She is going to love the new me. He will see the change in me. You can’t wait for them to see the new you. You go thru your day. You head home. You walk thru the door with a big smile on your face and your partner says … “did you put the bins out this morning?”
CRUSHED! The happy you morphs into Mr Nobody talks to me like that.
We then leave the future of our relationship in the hands Ms Nobody talks to me like that, aka, I don’t give a toss about this relationship, being right is more important.
What I’m hinting at here is wouldn’t it make sense to somehow always be able to trust back to that part of us who makes decisions when we are feeling good when we at least have a degree of clarity. Have you noticed the best decisions you ever made usually came about when you was clear minded and happy.
Trust me, I’ve learnt the hard way in recent times. When you are in relation to someone else, it is always best to wait until you are feeling at least 70% happy before you make a decision. And then … remember that decision when you are not at your best. (do whatever it takes to do so).
I highly recommend keeping a journal until it becomes a habit. You can call it Mr Happy. Or The Me Guru. I call mine – THE MAGICIAN! And when you are feeling good, and positive, write in it. What you are in actual fact doing is addressing all of your other personalities as a whole. Mr Moody, Ms Nobody loves me, Mr Lonely, Ms the world is out to get me and on and on. Keep the journal with you. The challenge then … is to do your best to open your journal and heed the words of your Magician when you need it most.. He or she won’t put you too far wrong. The Magician doesn’t need anybody to make him happy. The Magician is always kind and thinking of others first. The magician doesn’t need acknowledgement from anybody else. The Magician doesn’t need a certain outcome.
If you can’t trust you at your best who can you trust?